very often,i'm very envious when i see my friends going out with their cliques during school hols,and spending much time with their friends. and i ask myself,why is it that i can't be like them?
i feel lonely,not literally,but i just have the strong feeling of emptiness deep in me. why is it that sometimes when i put my whole trust in someone,that person never fails to let me down?i'm tired of trusting people too easily. on the other hand,i have to trust the people around me,cause i'm a human too,i need a shoulder to cry on when i'm down,and i need someone who truely understands what i'm going through.
having to handle many commitments and responsibilities even during the hols,it's always hard to try to fit in anywhere especially when you are like absent for a period of time,and when you are back,everyone just seems so alien and unfamiliar to you,even your close friends. suddenly,all of them seemed so distant and you don't understand what they are talking about anymore.
on the surface,it appears i can click very well with the people around me,but when i have problems,i seriosuly don't know who to turn to. yes,at a superficial level,one may seem to have many friends,but so what if you have so many friends but in actual fact most of them are just hi-bye friends?
oh well,
i miss the times when i can just hang out with my friends after school,or go out with them during the hols :(
i miss the times when i can have lunch together with my friends after school,and just talk about anything under the sun :(
i miss the times when i don't feel strange in some places,and i feel comfortable with anyone,with the people around me :(
*when is all these going to end?
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