THOSE LOVELY MEMORIES (:

I hate moodswings, but i seriously can't help it. I've been moodswinging for the whole of today :(

A Maths test was a total killer. I got stuck at almost all the questions and in the end, I just gave up. The more I tried to figure out how to do those sums, the more I feel like crying. So I decided to just forget about it and wait to get a failing mark. I was so pissed off with myself. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I had so much more time to do the paper but I chose to give up instead, perhaps it's because I'm afraid I'll end up crying cause I don't think I can recall how to do those questions. RAHHH!

Then I got back my chinese and physics test- I failed both. Great. I was really disappointed but I guess I'm kind of immuned to it? I don't know whether this is a good thing or not cause previously, my results used to affect my mood alot to the extent that I'll cry over it if I don't score well, but for now, I still feel upset but it doesn't really affect me as much as it does like in the past. Failing tests and exams have been sucha a norm that it no longer triggers those feelings of extreme sadness in me. I wonder whether I should be happy or sad that I'm feeling this way.



Falling faster - barely breathing,
Give me something to believe in.

posted by janice @ 10:48 PM

Next week's gonna be a really busy week for me.

Monday: Chinese Test, Dance rehearsal
Tuesday: A Maths Test, Dance rehearsal
Wednesday: Speech Day rehearsal, Np day parade training, A Maths tuition
Thursday: Pure Geog Test, Dance rehearsal
Friday: E.Maths Test, Speech Day 2007
Saturday: NPCC Day Parade 2007
Sunday: A Maths tuition

1 more week left to practice the dance item for prefects' investiture.
1 more training left before the actual NPCC day parade.

To Sec 4 prefects: I know it's hard to learn how to dance well within 2 weeks
because none of us knows how to dance. So do turn up for the rehearsals cause
it's really important that we have more practice. We may not be able to dance as
well as modern dance,but i'm sure we can at least put up a decent performance
before we step down ya? (:

To my dearest np mates: We've been going for so many trainings at
hta,travelling all the way to choa chu kang just to train,so we must not let our
hard work go down the drain k? Let's put up a good show on sat and make nvnp
proud,love you guys to bits :D

JIA YOU AARON!

JIA YOU AMALINA!

JIA YOU GERARD!

JIA YOU HONG HUI!

JIA YOU HUDA!

JIA YOU JOYCE!

JIA YOU KAH WAI!

JIA YOU LIP YOUNG!

JIA YOU MILFRED!

JIA YOU MUN TING!

JIA YOU THERESA!

JIA YOU EMILIE!

JIA YOU LONG XIANG!

JIA YOU SHI JIA!

JIA YOU WEI JIE!

posted by janice @ 10:34 PM

Alright,the previous post was for me to vent my frustrations,I suppose I'm ok now (: I think I really gotta learn not to judge myself through the eyes of others.

So I actually managed to survive through school today with chemistry test,chinese test (mo xie),physics test and napfa test :D I really hate to have so many tests in one day because I'll get all stressed up when it comes to studying. I'd get my facts all mixed up sometimes,and it can get quite frustrating. I always cannot make up my mind on which subject to start first,so I will study chemistry for awhile,then switch to physics and then switch to chinese. At the end of the day,I think I wouldn't be able to score well because I only studied a little for each subject. RAHHH. Perhaps I really need to get used to this stress because O levels is gonna be like this.

Napfa test was truly disappointing. I didn't manage to get a gold all because I scored a D for inclined pull-up. I really tried my best alrdy but the teacher was just so strict. Besides that,I got 3 As and 1 B for the rest of the 4 items. I don't know why but I almost cried because I thought I could maintain a gold for 4 years,but this year,I'll only be able to get a silver :( But whatever it is,I know I tried my best,so there isn't really anything that I can do. Yupps.

Npdp training tmr. Looking forward to it,jia you np mates! [:

posted by janice @ 10:43 PM

Friends.
Aren't they supposed to accept you for who you are?
Aren't they supposed to be the ones who don't mind about your looks or what so ever?

Perhaps you all may think i'm over sensitive or what,but i guess you guys will feel the same way too if you were me. I don't mind if friends criticize me about my attitude or character,but I DO MIND if they criticize me about my physical appearance. Character and attitude is something that I can change,instead I will be more than happy if my friends tell me my bad points so I can change for the better,but what I totally cannot accept is when people keep commenting about my looks. What can I do about my looks then?Go for plastic surgery?Obviously not right! I think you should really put yourself in the shoes of others and think of how they feel. Does it make your day better by saying those hurtful comments?

I've been trying to act like I don't care or simply ignore those comments,but i guess there's a limit to everyone's tolerance. Deep down inside,it's hurting me alot. I'm tired of hiding these feelings in front of others.

posted by janice @ 9:29 AM