THOSE LOVELY MEMORIES (:

english paper was totally screwed up,esp paper 1.

i regretted not starting on situational writing first.
i regretted choosing the narrative qn.
i regretted not managing my time well.

many regrets for this paper,and many i-shd-hv-done-that thoughts filled my mind after the paper. i know that i haven't tried my best.

after thinking abt it for so long,i decided to choose the narrative qn over the argumentative one for paper 1. i chose the one on personal recount and the qn was to write abt an incident when i defended a friend and explain why i did so. i spent around 55 mins on my compo,but i didn't write a good one. i tried to include the techniques that mr lim taught us and i guess that's the reason why i spent so much time on it. when mr lim came in to invigilate our class,he kept walking pass my desk to look at my compo,i felt very pressurized,and for the whole 5 mins,i couldn't think of anything to write,my mind just went blank. wasted 5 mins just like that. so,i was left with 50 mins for situational writing. there were so many points that i wanna write but i didn't hv the time to. when there were only 5 mins left,i still had 2 more paragraphs to go,so i had no choice but to hurry up finish my 2nd last paragraph and den end off.

paper 2 was still not that bad,just that there were quite a few inferential qns and i spent quite some time answering it. i think i wudn't be scoring well for vocab,as usual,cause my vocab is not good. as for summary,i was left with 25 mins to do it butd luckily i finished it on time,didn't hv extra time to check my work though.

i think i'm not gonna do well this time,am so disappointed in myself,but i shd be happy that its not o levels,so at least,it's not the end yet (: i will never make these mistakes again in my nxt paper. i gotta learn how to manage my time well,and perhaps,to be more relaxed. i was too tensed up today,and i think that's why i couldn't organise my thoughts well.



*and i feel like i'm living the worst day over and over again

posted by janice @ 7:46 PM

all that is on my mind now is studies,nth but studies. i hope i can put everything aside,and just concentrate purely on studies.

exams are giving me alot of pressure. i'm really worried that i'll do badly this time,cause i totally lost the confidence in myself. people ard me are all studying so hard,and i feel that wad i've studied as compared to them is just a teeny weeny bit of it,maybe not even 5% of wad they've studied. i know i shdn't compare myself with others but i just can't help but feel very inferior. i dunno if i can finish my revision on time. it's really tiring,attending sch frm 7.40am to 2.40pm,den going to cp burger king to study with pris everyday after sch till 7.30pm,and when i reach home,i bathe,hv dinner and its back to studies again. i have no choice but to force myself to study after sch no matter how tired i m cause i know if i come home early,i will slp instead of study,and this will be a total waste of time.

english paper is this friday,and i hv alot of fear in it. these few english lessons,mr lim had been teaching us narrative writing skills,and he told us that the reason why he is drilling us so hard on narrative writing is because he wants us to choose the narrative qn for paper 1. however,i'm quite uncomfortable with it,cause i know that i wudn't score well writing narrative essays. i always prefer to write argumentative essays or the discussion ones,but mr lim told me that he dun encourage me to choose that. he said that i'm not gonna do well if i choose argumentative or discussion. but the problem is,i think i will score even badly if i write a narrative essay,cause i'm not good at it. i'm really confused now,i dunno whether to take mr lim's advice or just make my own decision. i'm afraid that if i didn't follow his adivse,i will regret it,but at the same time,i dun hv confidence to write a good narrative essay. mr lim's intention of teaching us all the techniques to write a good narrative essay was to boost up our confidence lvl,but instead,it was the opposite for me. take for instance,he asked us to write introduction paragraphs on the topic "disaster" for homework,because he wants us to practice the skills he taught us. all my friends could come up with such wonderful orientations using those techniques he taught,but i couldn't. this makes me lose faith in myelf. i'm afraid that i'll be tempted to write the argumentative or discussion essay when i see the questions,i'm afraid that i'll give in to temptations,and that's wad happened to me during mid-yr exam. i dun even know how to help myself now. i feel so helpless. if i fail my english,i will get retained,and i certainly dun want that to happen to me :(



breakdown,
i can't take this,
i need somewhere to go

posted by janice @ 10:39 PM

everything is just not going right. i didn't do well for most of my tests,mum hv been scolding me plus things are not going on well in prefectorial board. rahhhhhh. why is it that everything seems to come crashing down on me at this pt of time?why is it that all these always happen when exams are just round the corner?i dun wanna let my personal stuffs affect my studies. wad i really need to do now is to concentrate on my studies and to prepare for end of yr exams. but with all these,i really cannot put in 100% of my heart and soul into my studies. i tried,but i will still be bothered by it,somehow; in one way or another. this feeling sucks.



*her hopes were dashed

posted by janice @ 11:29 AM

EOY EXAM TIMETABLE
29/9- English Paper 1&2
4/10- Social Studies, A.maths
5/10- HCL Paper 1&2
6/10- Physics, Elect History
9/10- E.maths Paper 1, Pure Geog
10/10- E.maths Paper 2
11/10- Chemistry


ccas hv stopped starting frm this week due to eoy exams,and i can finally concentrate on my studies (: but i haven't studied much since the start of this week. only managed to study abit of physics. maybe i procrastinate too much,or i just lack the self-discipline to sit down and study..argh! my mum hv been nagging at me abt my studies,saying that if i dun work hard enough,i'm gonna fail my eoy exams. i'm really afraid that i'll be retained,and all these are scaring me,alot.

chemistry is a total nightmare to me,and i dun hv the confidence to sit for chem paper..the topics that we studied for 1st semester were still alright,but those in 2nd semester were difficult,maybe not to my friends,but to me it was very difficult. yah,and i hv to admit that i'm really lousy at both my sciences :( so i'm putting very very high hopes on my a maths,cause i guess it's the easiest subj to score,hehe..since i'm weak in both sciences,i really gotta score well for a maths,e maths,english,hcl,combined humans and pure geog in order to do well..i hope that i'll be able to get <14 for L1R5 :D



hold on,if you feel like letting go
hold on,it gets better than you know
don't stop looking you're one step closer
don't stop searching it's not over..hold on

posted by janice @ 4:15 PM

JANICE IS VERY TIRED :(

today's just another boring day in sch. mr lim didn't come so it was free period for english. i'm so glad that mr tan is back,finally. haha,he taught us chpt 13 for e maths all over again,cause almost the whole class didn't understand wad the relief teacher was teaching,lol. chem lesson was bad. ms chang gave us a quiz on oxidation & reduction and i didn't know how to do ALL of the qns cause i've been missing quite a few chem lessons. this is bad,very bad..i really got to buck up cause final yr exams is in 3 weeks time. den there was history extra lessons after sch,and because of this,i couldn't accompany theresa to cp. i feel bad,cause i promised to go cp with her today to buy some stuff. sorry theresa =X history lessons ended at 4.40pm..i almost fell aslp during the lesson,i was very worn out.

well,i think thats all..am gonna sleep for awhile now before i study for tmr's e maths test..bye! and to all 3e2 peeps,good luck for e maths test (:



cause there's something in the way you look at me
it's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
you make me believe that there's nothing
in this world I can't be
i never know what you see but there's
something in the way you look at me

posted by janice @ 6:58 PM

alright. gala dinner was totally screwed up,and it was all because of the rain.
we(prefects) reported at 3pm in our blazer suit on friday. mr reduan gave us a briefing followed by mr mok..after that,those prefects not sitting at vip table had their dinner,while those sitting at the vip table went to help mr ng bring down the candles and put them on the different tables. after that,at ard 6pm,the guests and students started coming in and we went to do ushering..the whole event started at abt 7pm,and the guest of honour was the minister of defence mr teo chee hean..he is super tall,haha (: first there was a speech by mr lim,followed by kernel chan and den by the minister..after all the speeches,the sch presented souvenirs to the minister and the dinner started..we were sitting at the vip table right in front,so we had to eat with our blazers on,and it was really troublesome..the first dish was served followed by the second..den,it started to rain very heavily..me and pei yi ran to the foyer to get the umbrella to shelter the minister but by the time we reached the parade sq,the minister was in the shelter alrdy. both of us felt guilty,cause mrs yim told us that if it rains,we're suppose to make sure that the minister is sheltered but we were too slow..haha..so everybody moved up to the hall and lecture room..there were alrdy tables there,it took quite some time for everyone to settle down..the rain "destroyed" everything..all the utensils were soaked in the rain,including the drinks and all that..so there was a delay in the whole event..the waiters and waitress had to collect the cups and wash them again so it could be used..as for the utensils,some tables had to use disposable ones as there weren't enough of it..and den,all the prefects started becoming waiters and waitresses,including those prefects sitting at the vip table..mr mok asked us to help serve food and drinks. actually it was quite fun to serve the food also,a very good experience i would say,haha..but there were some confusion,cause some of us served the wrong food to the wrong tables,we served chinese food to muslim tables =X yupps,and the whole event ended at ard 10.30pm..there was a short debrief for the prefects and we were dismissed. after which,pei yi,pris and me went to rp mac to hv a drink before going home..reached home at 12am,totally exhausted. i really wanna thank those sec 1 and 2 prefects who helped out at gala dinner. you guys did a great job. thank you very much! :D

many things happened recently. many misunderstandings,many disappointments. i tried hard to make things alright,but i failed. i cried,again.


*the tears hidden behind the smile

posted by janice @ 5:30 PM

time really flies,and the 1 week holiday is ending soon..how i wish i hv another week more,so i dun hv to wake up so early everyday to go to sch =X but seriously,i miss sch!!! looking forward to going back to sch on monday :D

had my haircut yst. after that,i went to sch for np meeting,and so many ppl commented on my hair..they keep saying that i look so auntie. wadever. haha,my hair will grow back k,so just wait (: after meeting,i went home and den went out agn to hv steamboat dinner with theresa,pris,hong hui,aaron,hao zhi,kang cheng,chong ee and tai hong..haha,had lots of fun. after dinner,theresa,pris and me watched the guys play pool for awhile before we decided to head home..reached home at 12am. tired but fun day =)

today's a busy day for me..proj,np meeting and gala dinner. i so look forward to the gala dinner..it's a grand event and i think we will enjoy it =] wanna see how my friends dress too,yupp..will update more probably when i get home tonight (:

posted by janice @ 9:34 AM

i received an e-mail recently and attached to it are photos of children that are so skinny that their bones and ribcage can be seen..their countries are suffering from famines and droughts and they do not hv food to eat. some of them even had to go to the extent of drinking cow's urine and eating cow faeces,for a simple reason,which is to survive. after reading this mail,i realized how fortunate i am,and that there are many ppl out there who are not as lucky as me..sometimes,we're just blinded by our own selfish nature and interests that we are unsensitive to the sufferings ard us..ppl at the other end of the world are struggling to live on and here we are,complaining abt everything. perhaps human beings are borned to be like this..when we are at our comfort zone,we do not cherish wad we hv and take everything for granted..we will start to regret only when we lose those things..the reason why i'm blogging abt all these is because i hope that everybody will learn how to cherish the things that they hv,and most importantly,to cherish everyone ard them..i just feel so much for those children,they are children after all and shd hv the right to live on. i sincerely pray that all these children are alleviated from theirs sufferings..

i've decided to look on the positive side of things..i realized that there's no pt if i keep thinking abt things that hv alrdy happened..we cannot change the past,but at least we can decide on our own future..stress and pressure is just part and parcel of life,the impt thing is to learn how to adapt to it,cope with it and not let it be an obstacle in our lives..wadever that happens,life still hv to go on,so like shaun said,i shdn't let things that happened in the past get me down. i shall put those things at the back of my mind and just move on (: to all my friends who hv encouraged me in one way or another after reading my previous post,i wanna thank all of u,for those encouragements and advice =]

finally,the sch hols are here,it's the time for me to catch up with my sch work and of course, to rest!!! haha..i'm suffering frm serious slp deprivation,haven't been getting enough slp since the term started..yupp,i'm planning to finish up all my holiday assignments and hopefully to start my revision for end year exams..shall blog again when i'm free,till then..ciaos :D


come away with me,to the CITY OF DREAMS-

posted by janice @ 7:31 PM

today's teacher's day,so firstly,i wanna wish all teachers A HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! :D

had teachers' day celebrations yst..the concert wasn't really nice,cause there were only performance put up by the string ensemble and drama..after the concert,me and my np mates went to give the presents to the teacher officers before theresa,pris,hh,aaron,gerard,xiang yu,lip young and me went to kovan to hv our lunch. haha,we crapped alot on the way..had a really good laugh (:

i've been thinking alot lately..i know that i'm not a good leader and cannot do a good job in leading the prefectorial board,i'm also not a good nco in npcc and perhaps i'm not fit to be one too. looking back at everything that happened recently,i ask myself whether it was all worth it. i had to sacrifice so much of my time to do all these,but is it worth it?i'm not saying that i've done alot or contributed alot but seriously,i'm getting sick & tired of all the pressure i get. my parents are complaining abt me spending too much time on these activities,my teachers are saying that there is a drop in standard since we took over the prefectorial board,and also,many things hv happened in np,which i shall not elaborate..most improtantly,my results are deproving because i really do not hv the time for my studies..i know studies shd be my top priority but it seems like i'm putting cca as my top priority now. i dunno why but i seem to be running away from studies,i try to give myself all sorts of excuses not to study..like i'm tired and stuff. the sight of books just freaks me out..whenever i try to sit down and study,i'll end up doing other stuffs..argh!!! i'm such a failure..i hv also been neglecting my friends due to my hectic schedule,i really wish to spend more time with them. perhaps that explains why i'm drifting apart from them..i feel that i dun fit in my class,maybe it's because i always come late for lessons and leave early due to duties,i dun really hv much time to talk to my classmates..somehow,i feel so out of place. sighs.


if only you understood me*

posted by janice @ 12:54 AM