THOSE LOVELY MEMORIES (:

Moved to http://www.severedheartstrings.wordpress.com/ (:

posted by janice @ 10:43 PM

I need a break!
and I can't wait for exams to be over.
can't wait
can't wait
can't wait!!!

I'm totally exhausted from intense studying these few days. Had e maths paper 1,physics paper 1 and physics paper 2 today. 3 papers in a row, and my brain juices were already squeezed dry by the end of physics paper 1. I'm sure I'm gonna fail physics again. SIGH. Physics never fail to bring down my mood :(



Show me how I'm supposed to trust in things beyond my sight
When my faith can't reach that far

posted by janice @ 5:29 PM

HELLO WORLD! (:

Yes I know I haven't been blogging, would update about NPCC Annual Parade, Speech Day and Prefects' Investiture soon after exams. So this 2 weeks plus will be all about mugging, mugging and more mugging! I hope I wouldn't go crazy,haha =)

To all my friends: It'll soon be over before you know it, so hang in there guys! Loves! :]


alright,
JANICE WILL BE BACK SOON AFTER EXAMS :D

posted by janice @ 10:53 PM

I hate moodswings, but i seriously can't help it. I've been moodswinging for the whole of today :(

A Maths test was a total killer. I got stuck at almost all the questions and in the end, I just gave up. The more I tried to figure out how to do those sums, the more I feel like crying. So I decided to just forget about it and wait to get a failing mark. I was so pissed off with myself. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I had so much more time to do the paper but I chose to give up instead, perhaps it's because I'm afraid I'll end up crying cause I don't think I can recall how to do those questions. RAHHH!

Then I got back my chinese and physics test- I failed both. Great. I was really disappointed but I guess I'm kind of immuned to it? I don't know whether this is a good thing or not cause previously, my results used to affect my mood alot to the extent that I'll cry over it if I don't score well, but for now, I still feel upset but it doesn't really affect me as much as it does like in the past. Failing tests and exams have been sucha a norm that it no longer triggers those feelings of extreme sadness in me. I wonder whether I should be happy or sad that I'm feeling this way.



Falling faster - barely breathing,
Give me something to believe in.

posted by janice @ 10:48 PM

Next week's gonna be a really busy week for me.

Monday: Chinese Test, Dance rehearsal
Tuesday: A Maths Test, Dance rehearsal
Wednesday: Speech Day rehearsal, Np day parade training, A Maths tuition
Thursday: Pure Geog Test, Dance rehearsal
Friday: E.Maths Test, Speech Day 2007
Saturday: NPCC Day Parade 2007
Sunday: A Maths tuition

1 more week left to practice the dance item for prefects' investiture.
1 more training left before the actual NPCC day parade.

To Sec 4 prefects: I know it's hard to learn how to dance well within 2 weeks
because none of us knows how to dance. So do turn up for the rehearsals cause
it's really important that we have more practice. We may not be able to dance as
well as modern dance,but i'm sure we can at least put up a decent performance
before we step down ya? (:

To my dearest np mates: We've been going for so many trainings at
hta,travelling all the way to choa chu kang just to train,so we must not let our
hard work go down the drain k? Let's put up a good show on sat and make nvnp
proud,love you guys to bits :D

JIA YOU AARON!

JIA YOU AMALINA!

JIA YOU GERARD!

JIA YOU HONG HUI!

JIA YOU HUDA!

JIA YOU JOYCE!

JIA YOU KAH WAI!

JIA YOU LIP YOUNG!

JIA YOU MILFRED!

JIA YOU MUN TING!

JIA YOU THERESA!

JIA YOU EMILIE!

JIA YOU LONG XIANG!

JIA YOU SHI JIA!

JIA YOU WEI JIE!

posted by janice @ 10:34 PM

Alright,the previous post was for me to vent my frustrations,I suppose I'm ok now (: I think I really gotta learn not to judge myself through the eyes of others.

So I actually managed to survive through school today with chemistry test,chinese test (mo xie),physics test and napfa test :D I really hate to have so many tests in one day because I'll get all stressed up when it comes to studying. I'd get my facts all mixed up sometimes,and it can get quite frustrating. I always cannot make up my mind on which subject to start first,so I will study chemistry for awhile,then switch to physics and then switch to chinese. At the end of the day,I think I wouldn't be able to score well because I only studied a little for each subject. RAHHH. Perhaps I really need to get used to this stress because O levels is gonna be like this.

Napfa test was truly disappointing. I didn't manage to get a gold all because I scored a D for inclined pull-up. I really tried my best alrdy but the teacher was just so strict. Besides that,I got 3 As and 1 B for the rest of the 4 items. I don't know why but I almost cried because I thought I could maintain a gold for 4 years,but this year,I'll only be able to get a silver :( But whatever it is,I know I tried my best,so there isn't really anything that I can do. Yupps.

Npdp training tmr. Looking forward to it,jia you np mates! [:

posted by janice @ 10:43 PM

Friends.
Aren't they supposed to accept you for who you are?
Aren't they supposed to be the ones who don't mind about your looks or what so ever?

Perhaps you all may think i'm over sensitive or what,but i guess you guys will feel the same way too if you were me. I don't mind if friends criticize me about my attitude or character,but I DO MIND if they criticize me about my physical appearance. Character and attitude is something that I can change,instead I will be more than happy if my friends tell me my bad points so I can change for the better,but what I totally cannot accept is when people keep commenting about my looks. What can I do about my looks then?Go for plastic surgery?Obviously not right! I think you should really put yourself in the shoes of others and think of how they feel. Does it make your day better by saying those hurtful comments?

I've been trying to act like I don't care or simply ignore those comments,but i guess there's a limit to everyone's tolerance. Deep down inside,it's hurting me alot. I'm tired of hiding these feelings in front of others.

posted by janice @ 9:29 AM

Man,I'm dead beat now.

Went to hta for np day full dress rehearsal and today's training was uber tiring. We were supposed to wear our first uniform,so we got changed immediately after we arrive,but after almost everyone has changed into their first uniforms,the CI told us to change back to half-u. Wasted a whole lot of time getting changed,taking down t-shirt sizes for our shirt,collecting the arms from the armoury and putting our bags. So all of us got kind of impatient,but this can't be helped,cause there were 100+ of us. The weather was super humid and we were perspiring real badly even before training starts. I got scolded by one of the sirs because he said I didn't wear my half-u properly. He was really sacarstic and he embaressed me in front of the others :( Being the right marker is so stressful and scary. It's like if you make a mistake,you'll get scolded by the CIs just because you are the right marker. I was really tired during training so at one point of time,I didn't lock my arms when marching,so one of the sirs approached me and said that if I continue to make that mistake,he's gonna change my position as a right marker. *sigh* All these scoldings kinda affected my mood just now and i almost teared. Whatever it is,i'm not gonna give up and i'm gonna prove to them i can do it. HANG IN THERE JANICE! =)

Anyway,we had our bayonets on our m-16 rifles today,and it's really cool! Haha (: I guess the whole GOH girls contingent improved alot today,and with more effort put in,i'm sure we'll do well on the actual day [: We shan't let the CIs say that the boys are better than us,cause girls can do as well too :D

School this week is stressful! I'm seriously lagging behind for e.maths and a.maths. I cannot catch up with the pace mr aw is going now. All the teachers are rushing through the syllabus and i'm trying really hard to absorb everything,but i can't,cause my mind has reached it's saturation point. I'm puting geography to use,hahaha (: Oh well,due to np day training,i always have to leave class early and miss quite a number of lessons,so I really gotta do self-study and catch up in which ever subject that i'm lagging behind.

Sec 4 life is seriously tiring,having to juggle my time between so many things. Many a time,it's either i revise my work and not get enough rest,go to school,feel tired and just completely switch off in class,or I take the time to sleep and feel lost in class cause I did not do self-study to catch up with whatever that I've missed,so I don't know what the teacher is talking about. It's so contradicting and I really don't know what to do.



So many things to complete and yet so little time.

posted by janice @ 6:39 PM

I know it's been 2 weeks since my birthday but nevertheless,i still want to blog about it (:

Firstly,i wanna thank those who celebrated my birthday with me, gave me presents and of course,everyone who wished me :D

They are: Gerard, Amalina, Priscilla, Si hua, Jessica Chua, Jessica Lee, Kok Hwee, Cherine, Cherlyn, Guan Hua, Jolyn, Jaslyn, Regina, Jillson, Cheng Kai, Tai Hong, Aaron, Bryan Chan, Bryan, Nicholas, Tiek Han, Shi Ting, Seng Guan, Jasmine Chi, Lip Young, Hao Zhi, Sophia, Kenneth, Milfred, Mun Ting, Pei Yi, Jun Hao, Kang Cheng, Chong Ee, Xi Hong, Joanne, Joyce, Natasha, Li Fang, Esther, Eunice, Wei Kang, Braudon, Daryl, Trena, Theresa, Xiao Xian, Desmond, Kah Pin, Hong Hui, Kah Wai, Min Hui, Samuel, Jasmine Lee, Chien Wan, Anderson, Wei Ling, Shaun, Juvenal and Yan Kang. [sorry if i missed out anyone. do tell me if i nvr credit you] Love all of you! (:

So pris, mun ting, aaron and hong hui surprised me by coming to my house at 10 plus at night during my birthday. They bought me a birthday cake and we had a mini party,haha,it was really fun and i had free "chocolate facial". They also got me a pencil case,a converse tee and a box which was specially hand made by them. It was really really nice and i can see they put in alot of effort in it. Was really touched can,haha,thank you guys! :]

Also,i wanna thank bryan,tiek han and shi ting for celebrating my birthday with me too (: We went out for movie and dinner and it was all on bryan and tiek han. Thanks alot for the treat =D

Yupps,and now i can say that i am officially sixteen :D NC16 movies,here i come! Haha! So i guess it's all part of growing up. The process is tough with lots of emotional strains and pressure,but this is how life is and everyone has to go through it. Somehow,i wish i can stop growing,cause i don't wish to face the cruel reality this world has to offer. Humans are always strange because when they are young, they want to grow up and be an adult. But when you are an adult or an adult-gonna-be,you just wish to revert back to the simple life you once lead as a child. I have this same feeling too,how interesting.

Ok,so life's been pretty much the same. I'm very worried about my studies because i'm still lagging behind for some subjects. It's only a month more before the sec 4s step down for prefects. We've been busy preparing for the upcoming prefects' investiture and making over the prefects' room. Lots of things to be done like interviewing the prefects and preparing all the things to hand over to juniors. I just hope that people will appreciate the hardwork that we've put in.



All I can hear in the silence that remains,
Are the words I couldnt say.

posted by janice @ 9:09 PM

WOOTS!
3 and a half more hours to sixteen!
yay! :D :D :D

posted by janice @ 8:33 PM

My apologies for not blogging for nearly 2 weeks. I was very occupied with common tests and all the other stuffs.

Went to pulau ubin for atf with np mates on 2nd march. We tried out the high elements there and it was really fun and challenging (: I didn't get to enjoy myself as much though cause i was having a bad stomach upset for the whole day,but i still tried the elements :] The best was still the double flying fox which was 8 storeys high,it was super nice,unfortunately we didn't get the chance to do it for the 2nd time. There were still other elements like the intermediate rope challenge,advanced rope challenge,leap of honour,the ladder thing (i forgot the name for it) and the underground tunnel. We didn't get to try all but we did most of it :D

posted by janice @ 11:07 AM

posted by janice @ 5:14 AM

The chinese new year break is over and we're back to school again.

Mr lim spoke to me during reflection period on friday and we talked about lots of stuffs. I think the main problem is I have poor time management skills. Like mr lim said,I could have made use of pockets of time in between meetings and all that to do my homework. Sometimes,my day is just packed with so many activities that I really need to take a break. He told me that he realize my school days and weekends are always fully packed,and if I do not let go of some stuffs,I will break down 1 day,and it's gonna be hard to recover from it. I thought about it for a long time and the first question that struck my mind was: "Am I being very irresponsible by doing that?" I decided to do all these so I should just carry on right?I mean I shouldn't just give up halfway like that. Rahhhh! I'm in a confused state of mind now and I feel really lost :(

Still trying to cope with everything. Studies,cca,friends,family and relationship. Yes,I know very well that i'm still not coping well. I feel so confined in my own space doing all the things I have on hand. I don't know if this is the life i really want.


When our time is up,
When our lives are done,
Will we say we've had our fun?
Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

posted by janice @ 7:11 PM

WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR :D

just like the past years,we had reunion dinner yst at the resaturant located at farrer road. got to meet up with my relatives and catch up with them (: haha,i've always loved reunion dinners cause it's really nice to have everyone coming together to eat. so,i gotta see my dearest niece,megan! she's alrdy 2 and a half yrs old and she's super smart and cute! love her loads [:

so the next 2 days will be going to different places for visiting just like today. am gonna enjoy myself as much as possible before school starts again,and all the tests will start pouring in. yupp,thats about it,hope that all of you have a wonderful year ahead =)

posted by janice @ 10:24 AM

HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY! (:

today's valentines' day,and it's a special day to everyone. to me,valentines' day is a day for us to show our loved ones that we care for them,and it's not just meant for couples but friends too :] school today was great! everyone was carrying big bags of presents,distributing them to their friends and classmates. people were wishing each other happy valentines' day along the corridors and the atmosphere was just so heart warming. i love the atmosphere,where everyone is happy and they know that they are loved by the people around them =) it feels good to receive gifts from friends,even though the gifts are mostly candies and chocolates,but it really means alot! want to thank all my friends who wished me and those who gave me gifts,be it chocolates,sweets,marshmallows,accessories,stationery,letters or soft toys..i really appreciate it alot (: haha,i will take my time to eat those munchies. maybe i'll just put them on my table and whenever i feel down,i'll pop one into my mouth =D

anyway,i apologise for not updating cause i've been rather busy lately. basically,the past week had been full of ups and downs.

i cried on tuesday because i failed my recent physics test. many people have been telling me not to be too upset about it since it's just a class test and not some major exam like o levels,and it will not affect my ca marks. but the point is that i've been failing almost every physics test and exam since last year,and no matter how hard i study for it,the results seems to be the same. the feeling of discouragement spilled into my heart,and i just feel like giving up on physics. my friends around me have been improving on the subject but i'm still not making any improvements. if this continues,i really don't know how i'm going to sit for o level physics paper this year :(

alright,enough ranting about physics test. i've one good news to share! haha,actually it's alrdy like 2 weeks ago but since i didn't mention it in any of my posts,i shall mention it now..

NPCC GOT A GOLD FOR UOPA (unit overall proficiency award)! =D

haha,yupp,we're overjoyed by the achivement cause only 18 out of the 100+ np units got a gold. our hardwork did pay off (: of course,it's not solely our hardwork,but also our seniors',wanna thank them for contributing so much to the unit (: now that we've got gold,we gotta make sure we sustain it. no doubt it's hard but i guess we all have to put in effort.

to np mates and juniors: continue to put in your 100% commitment in np and i'm
sure we'll be able sustain the gold that we got. it's gonna be alot of hardwork
put in but in the end,you all will enjoy the fruit of success. so let's all work
hard together towards a better nv npcc unit [:

so we got to be the GOH for npcc day parade and training started last friday. it sure feels different to go there as GOH than supporting contingent cause we'll be using m-16 instead of baton. haha,the rifle is so cool,but its super heavy. by the end of the training,all our hands were aching from flipping the rifles and all that. i'm so looking forward to the actual parade where we get to wear the no. 1!!! man,i think we will all look so smart in it xD

anyway,o level results were released last friday. a miracle had happened and i actually scored an A1 for my chinese!!! i was really surprised cause i expected myself to get a B3. despite the result,i don't know whether i should feel happy or sad,cause there were 3 of us who scored B3. seeing si hua break down the other day,i felt really useless not being able to console her. but it's a good thing that cherlyn's appeal was successful =) si hua and bowie decided to drop hcl instead :(

to si hua and bowie: though i really hope you 2 will appeal,i will still support
your decision. i'm sure that you guys will be able to score A1 this time,have
confidence in yourself and i'm sure you all can do it! :D

posted by janice @ 7:03 PM